Couples Therapy

Counseling can bring you closer with your partner again.

I use Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) to help couples better understand each other and bring about desired results.  EFT has a clear roadmap of the healing process that consists of nine steps and three change events*. Through this roadmap, therapists know which step the couple is at and how to guide the sessions. EFT can provide the following benefits:

  • Return to closeness you had early on in your relationship
  • Rekindle your relationship and intimacy
  • Get out of the cycle of arguments about the same things
  • Nurture each other again
  • Communicate more openly
  • Better understand each other in an inter-cultural relationship

What will happen in the session?

I provide a warm and safe space, so that each partner can share their feelings and thoughts.  You can expect that I, who will have a neutral stance, will help you identify the negative cycle. You experience resolution of conflicts as we begin to understand what drives them. You learn to communicate what you need in a way that invites positive response from your partner. You learn how to create long-lasting, close, and satisfying relationships.

What is EFT?

I use Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) with couples because it is the most empirically validated approach for couples therapy. In terms of outcome, EFT compares favorably with other tested approaches. Research studies find that 70-75% of couples move from distress to recovery and approximately 90% show significant improvements. EFT is being used with many different kinds of couples (i.e., traditional heterosexual, LGBTQ, interracial couples) and many different cultural groups. 

In the following video, the founder of EFT, Dr. Sue Johnson, explains about this modality. 

*  The nine steps and three change events of EFT are:

Phase 1 – “Assess and De-escalate Phase”

Step 1: Identify the conflict.

Step 2: Identify the cycle where conflict is expressed.

Step 3: Access unacknowledged emotions.

Step 4: Reframe the problem in terms of the negative cycle, underlying emotions and attachment needs. 

Phase 2 – “Change Events Phase,” which involves creating corrective emotional experiences

Step 5: Promote identification with disowned attachment emotions, needs and aspects of self and integrate those into relationship interactions

Step 6: Promote acceptance of the partner’s experience and new interactional responses

Step 7: Facilitate expression of needs and wants. 

Phase 3 – “Consolidation of Change Phase”

Step 8: Emergence of new solutions to old relationship problems

Step 9: Consolidate new ways of relating to each other


This animation describes how those three EFT phases would look in the sessions.